A surprise pregnancy
I am something of a control freak. The Lord has really stretched me in John's pregnancy and birth. With our last birth, also unassisted, I made a great hobby of poring over books and articles. I knew exactly what my due date was and had a good idea of how things were to be with the labor and birth. My husband and I had a lovely experience of togetherness during labor that time. I came through feeling so blessed and healed of things that went wrong in past births. It was hard to know how things would go this time. I didn't have anything to prove. I was even feeling open minded about whether or not we should birth unassisted. But since no other desirable opportunities presented themselves, we went ahead with unassisted birth as the default option.
The pregnancy was characterized by a lot of uncertainty. No sure due date was available since my cycles hadn't returned after my previous birth. I was nearly halfway through the pregnancy when I realized I was pregnant, and even thought I was further along than that! So Mrs. Information Lover was really in a quandry over the uncertainties. I wasn't even sure what I should read up on. Should I be the big birth student all over again, or should I just be mellow and rest in the Lord's care?
Being mellow won over. In fact, I felt an overwhelming need to be calm and mellow. I knew I was not to repeat my previous experience. This would be a new situation with new lessons. For the life of me I didn't know what was to happen. I was fully aware of the slim possibilities of complications, but knew I was not to dwell on them. I was to rest in my own testimony of what the Lord has done for me. So I went along in the pregnancy feeling so mellow it was actually scary sometimes. I am a control freak and I have a need to plan everything. Things usually don't work out the way I plan them, but I still have the need to do that. I was absolutely clueless about what to expect for this birth, but I maintained a strong inner peace.
My three and six year old sons would put hands on me every night and pray for my healing. Even toward the end of the pregnancy my little toddler began to do the same. He can't even talk yet, bless his heart! I had figured out due dates based on measurements mostly. Unfortunately I measured large through the whole pregnancy. We adjusted to a sooner due date because of this. We ended up being wrong. That was challenging because people were starting to get worried about me. I wasn't sure what to tell them. I knew I couldn't handle people's concerns without having answers myself. I would not have been able to keep my frame of mind, so we had an ultrasound done. I was surprised that I supposedly had two more weeks to go. I was just so huge, but not carrying twins or any masses. The ultrasound predicted our son's weight to be around seven pounds.
I had been having crampy feelings at night before I went to bed for a week or two. They usually went away once I was in bed. I have had false labor a few times, so I was expecting some of that to happen before real labor started. I was in such a mellow frame of mind that I was practically expecting to never have the baby. We had been through about six weeks of thinking the baby could come at any time. I was not discouraged though, because the extra time had allowed us to get more things done around the house. We had to do quite a bit of reorganizing to make room for this one! Two more weeks passed and a few more days after the ultrasound. I had decided the baby would best be born on October 1. My birthday is in October, so that was my logic. My parents were planning to visit on October 5th for two weeks. They had made these plans based on my September 9 due date that I had originally come up with. So I had hoped for the baby to wait until October but to get here before my parents! I love my parents but didn't particularly want them to be attending my birth.
Bill and I were going to do some deep cleaning on Saturday in preparation for labor Saturday night. I knew it could not be much longer, so that would be prudent. We talked things over on Friday night until after midnight. I went to bed and collapsed. Bill stayed up to read a bit in a midwifery book. He fell asleep on the couch.
As I slept I felt some mild cramping. I was used to this so it didn't bother me. Then something else happened. I don't even recall what it was. Perhaps a stronger contraction? I am not sure, but something just snapped in my mind. I was alerted that labor was commencing. I had nothing to base this on, but my whole body and mind just woke up. I decided to just stay in bed. I wanted to preserve my energy if this really was labor. I had my doubts. I stayed in bed and the contractions started coming. They sure felt strong for early labor. They might go away though. It could be false labor again.
They went very quickly from ten minutes apart to five minutes apart, or even four minutes apart? Could that be right? I got up a few times to use the bathroom. I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement, but nothing was happening. That was strange! I had checked my cervix once while in the bathroom. It felt like it was about 3cms dilated. It was very soft and thin and barely within reach. I could feel a very good outline of the baby's head in the thinned tissue.
I stayed in bed with contractions from 3:30 to about 5:30am. Then I got up. The contractions were strong enough that I preferred to be upright to deal with them. I went in and woke Bill up. This would be a short night for him, but I needed to let him know what was happening. He immediately got up and started doing things to prepare. He was putting dishes away. It struck me funny for some reason. I started to walk around the house to deal with the contractions. It felt good to stretch my legs and helped to disperse any discomfort. They were coming about 5 minutes apart or sooner. I was having some contractions back to back. This distressed me a bit, but at least the back to back ones were not as strong as the the others. I also found that I was short with my husband when he was talking to me. This wasn't going to be a time of joyous conversation between us as it had been before. Bill made me a glass of calmag liquid. I sipped it and he tried to call his aunt and uncle, who had volunteered to watch our other children while I labored. He tried for half an hour to reach them and kept getting a busy signal. We decided that their phone lines must be down. Luckily I had talked to a friend a few nights before about being a backup for us. Bill called this friend and she was going to drive over and pick them up. He called about 6am and so all this time I was laboring by myself while he made arrangements and got the boys ready. I walked around in the bedroom and felt like moaning a bit with the contractions. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I decided I must be in about middle labor by now. I went to the bathroom again and was thinking about how I wasn't seeing any mucus plug or any bloody show. It just occurred to me, but I was too distracted by contractions to think too much about it.
I started feeling a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen. I was still in the bathroom. I grabbed a wash cloth and ran it under hot water. Then I applied it to my lower abdomen. That was nice counter pressure. The pressure continued and I just decided to get in the shower. I ran the shower on my front and lower back also, as the pressure was being felt there also. I decided to close the drain to save the water in case I felt the need to be more immersed in water. I couldn't imagine myself sitting down for anything at that moment, but within a short time I was sitting in the tub and soaking in the warm water.
My contractions seemed to slow down and were easier while immersed in the warm water. I thought to myself that I needed to get out of the water soon or I would impede my labor progress. But it felt so good I didn't care! I soaked in the tub for a while and started feeling sleepy. I got out of the tub and thought maybe I would go into the bedroom for a while. I asked Bill to bring me a heating pad. He did so, but I couldn't stay in there. I ended up getting right back in the tub. I was moaning with the contractions. My youngest son was still asleep in the next room. I though how I would probably wake him up with all my racket. My friend arrived to get the kids. I decided to keep silent and stay in the bathroom. I felt self conscious and told Bill just to tell her I wasn't feeling very friendly right now. She was here for about fifteen minutes while he got the youngest ready. It seemed like an eternity. I was looking forward to having my husband with me about now. I didn't want him to do anything. I just felt like I needed him now. He was heading downstairs to the basement and I called him. I asked him just to sit there if he didn't mind. His presence was reassuring. I had been struggling to work through the contractions. I was lying on my side in the tub. The water was shallow and on my side I had all the painful areas immersed. I reminded myself to work with the contractions. It made such a huge difference. My hands were shaking slightly and I was saying, "I can't do this" to myself. Ah transition! Of course, I couldn't think much about that or what it meant. I just knew that when I focused the contractions ceased to be painful and I felt some incredible movements happening inside. I was holding onto the tub for dear life with one arm and was trying different things with my legs in order to fully work with the contractions. I bent my leg up in a pushing position. It seemed a bit premature, but that position helped the contraction go smoother. I would just thank the Lord everytime one more contraction was passed. Bill was silent and I could see that he was praying. It was hard for him to just sit there when I was having such a time. I always feel more strengthened when he prays over me. I told Bill that the baby was descending. He was thinking I needed to avoid pushing and said so. I wasn't feeling pushy right then. But then all of a sudden a very strong contraction hit. It knocked me over from my side to my back. I felt the baby's head pushing out. Ohhhhh my! I told Bill I needed to push. He suggested I get out of the tub. No, I couldn't do that. I am always extremely uncooperative at this point in labor. I get so focused that I can't think of anybody elses point of view. Even the baby. I moved so I was facing Bill and hanging onto the tub on one knee. Bill realized I wasn't going anywhere and was surprised to see a head crowning. He took his shoes off and got in the tub with me. He couldn't see anything but knew that he better catch the baby. So he put one hand behind me and one hand in front. I was upright and was expecting the baby to take a long time coming out. My last birth the baby would crown then pop back up inside when the contraction was done. But that didn't happen this time. The baby's head stayed put and he was born in three contractions. I felt fluid running down my legs as the baby was crowning and emerging. I asked Bill if the head was out and he said yes. The baby's shoulders were born and then his body was out. Bill barely had him in hand and asked me to grab him. I held him and he cried a quiet calm little cry. We cried and praised God for our little reward!
Bill said that while he was emerging a lot of fluid had come out of his mouth. He sounded clear and wonderful! He didn't seem like such a big baby to me, but we were shocked to weigh him later at 9½ pounds!! Wow! Our last baby had been 7 1/2 pounds. But this baby was so calm. He was so very strong and healthy. Not fat at all, but big. He reminds me of how calm I was through the whole pregnancy. That is exactly what his disposition is like!
We went into the bedroom and rested up for a bit. He nursed a little and I finally stood up after a while and squatted over a chux pad to see if the placenta would come out. It finally did and looked fine. I am just in awe of how this birth went. It was completely in the Lord's hands. The birth was an absolute gift. I am so happy to put my trust in the Lord's provision. I am also just stunned at how the Lord has favored us. This birth has changed me in a lot of ways. I feel that I am getting better at this birthing thing! The baby was born only about 2½ hours after I got up out of bed! I am feeling like in the future we need to look at getting a real birth tub(of some type) if the Lord blesses us again. I never want to do a dry birth again after this! Also, I feel so confident with homebirthing that I think we are just going to tell people flat out that we are homebirthing in the future. I feel so strong in what we have been able to do that this birth has been as transforming for me as our previous birth was healing.
Marie's third birth (first UC) Pictures
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